| (no subject) |
[Dec. 26th, 2009|08:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bored | ] |
Had a great time last night.
I really wanted to go out and have a great night tonight too
but I slept through the bus times.
Now Im stuck home alone.
I feel restless.
I guess I will have to save this energy for tomorrow.
I can always take over the world tomorrow. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 25th, 2009|11:28 pm] |
Bah.
I am just a stupid girl with an unfortunate amount of misfortune.
Maybe I should share it with the world. I think I already do sometimes.
Maybe I am a child in wolves' clothing. I am probably just a sheep.
Maybe I don't know what to do now. No, I don't.
Maybe I am not here anymore. I don't know, the line's a bit hazy. The reminders gone.
People ask me all the time, "Why did you do this?" or "Why don't you have that?" and "How are you going to do that?" but I can never properly answer them. I don't have any reason for doing or not doing this or that. I make no plan, I have no cause. I'm fairly certain I have less then most people I know (except when it comes to bad luck). I do less then most people I know. I hope less then most people I know. Nothing more to say for now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 25th, 2009|04:17 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
Why I hate Christmas this year:
Im tired of always having ham on christmas eve and prime rib on christmas.
I do not want to hangout at my grandma's for 3 hours before dinner.....
I do not want to be roped into cooking with my grandma, she's a stress machine on the Holidays.
Everyone is stressed out.
White elephant.
My sister thinks I dont like christmas because I never like my gifts. It's insulting.
I'm going to have to recount my DUI fiasco for the millionth time.
I really don't like christmas movies... and we'll watch them all day.
My mom and I almost always get into a fight on Christmas... Im not looking forward to it happening again.
If I drink more than 2 glasses of wine my Grandma will accuse me of being drunk.
My grandma's house is crowded.
My 30 year old ex-meth head cousin will be there with her baby and I have 2 problems with it:
1. Talking to her is like talking to a 15 year old
2. I dont like babies. They cry and smell bad.
The few redeeming qualities of Christmas:
Giving gifts to people and watching their faces light up when they open them.
Receiving something really thoughtful.
Getting to see family members that I don't see often enough.
Cookie bags from Grandma
Pie
Getting way trashed with my friends later on.
I guess it's almost worth it.
Oh well, happy whatever the fuck you and yours celebrate!
ps- Im so tired but can't sleep.... LAME |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 24th, 2009|01:32 am] |
Technically it's Christmas Eve right now.
Tomorrow I help my grandma clean house before she has everyone over for Christmas.
Then I go out to Tacoma to celebrate Christmas Eve with my Dad's side of the family.
Hopefully I will be done with that and home before Leah is driving through town.
I really would enjoy the chance to girl talk with her.
Stomach ache. ugh.
my arms are candy canes. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 23rd, 2009|04:13 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
Compromising. Swallowing the bullet. Giving up ideals just to 'grow up'. Sustainability.
It's money, right? Doesn't matter how much you hate the job... it's just for the money.
I mean, it's not like Im going to be giving blow jobs behind safeway or anything.
It will get me the fuck out of here... isn't that worth it? Isn't that worth my ideal of fun over function?
Everyone has to grow up someday.
Got a sewing machine for christmas from my parents.
It's pretty simple. I already made a purse and a tube-top.
I'm a sewing machine.
I also got 2 Kurt Vonnegut books.
Pretty stoked. My Dad had lost my copy of Slaughter House Five so he got me a new one
and a copy of Cat's Cradle.
My sister got me a necklace of an octopus.
I think it fits me right now.
I don't care to elaborate.
sometimesifeellikeemmafrost...myheartismadeofdiamonds.
Today my friend said something like:
Oh yeah, you're not a nerd.
And I replied...:
Yeah, maybe if you're from Earth Two!
.FML. iamanerd. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 19th, 2009|03:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hungry | ] |
Last night was a great night! Here are some high lights:
-Good friends from way back
-Stage dives and high fives
- Having a song dedicated to me but missing it cause I was off getting intoxicated
-Skunk giving me an AMAZING piece of art work... I love my wifey!
-Having a song dedicated to Belfair hahahaa
-Some guy being dared $10 to talk to me. He was cute.
-PARTY!
-Being drunk pretty much the whole night... Vodka Dew and MD 20/20
-So many hugs I thought my arms would fall off
-Dog piles
-Too many smiles
-Making towers just to knock them down.
-Smashing cans and pretending Im Godzilla attacking the U.N.
-heart to hearts with Robert
-getting some
All in all I give last night an A+
Tonight:
World domination with Skunk and Carl.... Call me if you want to help TAKE OVER THE WORLD. |
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| FREE |
[Dec. 18th, 2009|02:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  free | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the pixies | ] |
I AM THE FREEST PERSON I KNOW (with Skunk holding a close second).
Freedom isn't just a statement... it's a way of life. It's choosing to live freely.
How do you live freely? By giving into as few obligations as possible.
By not letting rules, conventions or shame make your decisions for you.
By not letting anyone affect who you are and who you want to be.
By not giving a fuck about anything.
The few people who I tie myself to understand... I am a child of the wild and free.
I am the daughter of the wind... of the night.... of life.
So don't get get drunk and tell me how gorgeous you think I am.
Don't tell me how much you wish you could be with me.
I'd just swallow you up and then shit you out.
Not because I'm cruel but because I don't care about you.
At least, not enough. I can never care enough. It's not my nature.
God, I feel so relieved.... I feel so..... Well, like I said... I AM FREE.
This is why I do not want to date anyone.
I don't want to give myself to anyone... not completely.
It might seem selfish...
But my freedom is the only thing I have. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 18th, 2009|09:43 am] |
Got maybe 3 hours sleep last night... which is bogus because I didnt go out so I could go to bed early.... I tried to but I just couldn't sleep.... Now I have to work, get home and take a nap, shower, get dressed and then take the bus out to Bremerton so I can be there by 6. Today will be long.
I think my dog might be sick, or pregnant or depressed.
It's upsetting. Im really hoping that she's just in a funk.
My baby can't have babies! I'm not ready to be a grandma to a litter of pups!
My grandma has a crush on this guy named Gary.
She's a crush on him for years.
He works as a carpet cleaner and has done regular work for my family for a long time.
He enjoys her company but doesn't want to date her.
It's really weird.
God damn it, I love the league.
Au revoir. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 17th, 2009|03:34 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  stoic | ] |
Thesis ---> Antithesis ----> Synthesis
I've been pondering a lot the whole Nurture v. Nature argument.
In all it's similar but slightly differing forms.
If it is my nature, then why does it make me so miserable?
To have the bravery to be yourself you must first know who you are.
Who am I? I am Lyra Danger, friend, daughter, sister, cousin, niece, first born.
Do these terms really add up to all that I am?
There's a lot of questions and very few answers in this world.
I recently read something that I think rings very true to my heart:
There was much to hate in this world and too much to love.
I have noticed, in my own life at least (for I can not speak on behalf of other's lives), that Love and Hate
often travel in the same circles. They bind themselves so closely to one another....
It's hard to see where one starts and the other ends.
It's the dirties, filthiest, most debauched display.
I can't take my eyes off it. How, OH HOW?, could I ever hope to decipher the two?
Things and people I love are intertwined with things or people I hate.
Often time they're not even entwined but simply the same damn thing.
I came home after almost a week absence from my house.
It had been a week since I washed every dish in existence at this house and asked my "Dear Brother" to put them away... they are are still where I left them... except of course for the dishes he used. The useless cod. I should berate him for this but I have grown weary of nagging. Maybe I'll hoard away all the clean dishes and make him wash his own to have anything to cook/eat with. He also managed to eat all our food except for my vegetables... however, the veggies a lone are not enough to make a decent meal for myself. Whatever, the politics of living with family will end someday.... sooner rather than later I hope.
Well, I have rambled on for too long. I guess this is all rather pointless drivel... half finished thoughts and blah blah blahs.... I would be surprised if anyone bothered to read it. I know I wouldn't. Here I go again... rambling.... Au revoir realm of the live journal. I will converse with you again shortly. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 15th, 2009|02:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired | ] |
The cut on the top of my left pointer finger moves when I type. It mimics a mouth babbling about something.
Oh gay, so christmas is coming up. Huh?
wherediditallgo? Happy Holidays. You know, with your families and stuff.
I know I will. Ihopeyousensethesarcasm.
Going on all kung-fu window wash on this shit.
My dog is a good girl. Maybe it's time I become a good girl too.
I'll have to do it eventually anyways. For my evil scheme to work.
World domination with Skunk this weekend.
Hella stoked.
Christmas Shopping.
Ugh.
Oh yeah and hay, the kh show or something.
alright. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 15th, 2009|01:06 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired | ] |
some hardcore introspection coming on.
oh shit guys.
it's an earthquake. |
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